"People should be judged on the content of their character, not the decomposition of their skin"                   - Eugene (Stinky) Stinkovich

Sense the earliest recorded history the living have forced the dead underground.  This has to stop.  We cannot allow discrimination against the living impaired any longer.

That's why, once in office, Stinky will amend the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) to include the non-living.

The new Act will be re-named The Americans with Death and Disabilities Act (DEAD) It will include such far reaching reforms as:

  • Elimination of such derogatory terms as undead, corpse, and worm food
  • Making public buildings and businesses accessible to the living impaired with designated hearse parking and casket ramps
  • Removing the branding of "dead" by the government through issuance of "death" certificates... There aren't birth certificates for the living are there? This new act will make everything equal regardless of life status